we are the choice we make
Sunday, October 22, 2017

Low key 
wanna be 
the first thing 
on your mind 
when you wake up
and the last thing 
before you sleep.
But we will start
with "good morning".

Enjoy your week friends! :)


thoughts in my head that papers can't handle
Monday, October 16, 2017

If you've been a reader of this empty white space for awhile now, you should already know how I don't pen down anything about my feelings or anything like that. Months after I started this space, I kept a book filled with all my feelings and thoughts somewhere in my room. Every now and then when I'm deep in thoughts, I will pen them all down and keep that book. But here I am today, sitting down in front of my mac desktop, trying to type down my thoughts.

Unlike the other posts on this space, this will be an exception. So here it goes:

Funny how things doesn't change until you look back. I never entered 2017 with the mindset that this year will change the way I view things, but it did. Started off the year with my graduation trip to Hong Kong after I ended my 1-month extension of my internship. That trip was probably just an appetiser to what 2017 have in store for me.

Halfway through the year when I allowed the wrong person into my life, my emotions went on a 360 degree roller coaster ride that I didn't prepared for. But I'm glad allowing one person to walk out of my life made me realise how blessed I am to have all my friends around me during this period - the ones who truly care about my wellbeing and keep me sane throughout the whole time. From the quick texts that goes something like "Are you alright? Are you feeling better? Where are you? Lets head out." to phone calls or Skype calls and on some occasion, FaceTime. (Lately I've been so into Skype calls and FaceTime bc it feels like a face-to-face talk and it is a really nice feeling to know that someone is there. Does that make sense HAHAHA)

"I told people I was busy - but they never really understand what I meant when I said I was busy. I was busy fixing myself. I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts going on in my head."

When my friends told me how they can't keep up with my life, I thought they were joking. But I guess they were right. I can't even keep up with my life tbh, I wish we can slow things down. Like take one step at a time, to explore and to discover. I got tired trying to catch up with the things going on in my life - and yet I still want to keep myself busy and occupied. Hahaha what.

In the third quarter of 2017, I feel like I have lost myself. What happened to the girl that laughs over every little thing? What happened to the girl that see positivity in every situation? What happened to the girl that shower lots of love and dote her friends and her loved one like crazy? What happened to the girl with full of motivation? What happened to the girl so fearless of the outcome of most situation? Even one of my close friend told me how vulnerable I am after that the incident.

"Fuck it. You're not perfect, you have your issues. You've been broken, you've been uncertain and unsure. Sometimes you're difficult, sometimes you don't know what the fuck you're feeling but that doesn't change the fact that you deserve the type of love that will quiet the chaos within your soul."

But honestly, I am really thankful for those friends that have never given up on me, nor left me while I'm still so vulnerable, and waiting for me to be all bubbly again. Those that were there for me during this period, keeping me sane and fine.

While many say that our little red dot is small and boring, but lets get the hell out of our house and do silly fun things together. Like..... skating, or going to the museum, or the science centre, or snow city, or bowling, or sneaking into a movie, or explore good food places (like pizza buffet LOL), and have heart to heart talks at the beach. :")))

I want to be whole again.

Have a great week ahead friends! Cheers :) xx

Friday, October 06, 2017

August 2017 | Thailand, Bangkok

Bare in mind: If you’re important to someone, they won't forget you.


Completely drained this week. My body is aching so badly from all the activities I've done this week. Next week might just be another tiring week for me - with one test and project submission in the later part of the week, but I'm already looking forward to the Nike race I volunteered to go for on Monday with my girl. And as much as I would like to keep myself free on some days, I'm still so tempted to keep myself busy and fill my weekly schedule up by randomly signing up for commitments that I might regret lol. PAL was already one of the most impulsive sign ups I made last week - and I was successfully allocated with a slot..... Arg.